Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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