Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
