YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
