So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Houston, we have a squirter
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
