in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he fucked my hip out of place.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
