Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
