Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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