The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
