dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
