she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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