Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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