I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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