Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
