I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
