the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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