That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
