I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You don't make any sense
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