You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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