how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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