i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I currently don't understand fingers.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
