didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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