Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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