Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
They are going to name an STD after you.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
