I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
