It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
