Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
