I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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