I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
