just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
