Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
