my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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