She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
