i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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