If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
