i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
