The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
