They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
