I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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