i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
