Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
