dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The struggles of a small town man whore
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
