What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My vagina is officially offended.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
