Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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