So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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