He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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