Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
vagina is talking i cant
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
