You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
