As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
