Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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