Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
