just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
