is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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