Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
