No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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