that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Damn victory sex feels great
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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