While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
