Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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