Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
