bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
