Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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